His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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