GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
