is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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