I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
