is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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