sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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