Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
