And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
