He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
