maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
