I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
