I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
