idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
