Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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