it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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