I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Im part way to drunk.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
