when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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