Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Randomize
