Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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