I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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