Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
