Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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