I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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