I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
