So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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