its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
