Don't make out with my wife yet
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
