So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
