wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
