I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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