So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You dont lie about slip and slides
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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