I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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