Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
