Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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