I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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