Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
