It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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