Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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