There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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