"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
