i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
