i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
A bitchslap is in order.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
