I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
