Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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