thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
