i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
