I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
