is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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