some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
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