Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
