it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
