What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
