You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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