there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
